Fittingly, the Sunday after the Son of God is born into the world, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.   It is fitting because Jesus Christ, the Son of God who became human in order to save his people- is born into a family with a father and a mother.  For truly, as the Church teaches, the family is the foundation of society- as the family goes, so goes society.  And there is no secret that the major problems in society today are due to a breakdown of the family.  Therefore, it is necessary for us to truly understand who the family is, and is meant to be.  Today I want to reflect on the Holy Family- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and what exactly makes a family holy.  For truly, every family is meant to be a model of the Holy Family- every family is meant to be holy. 

Pope Emeritus Benedict said, “The family is the privileged setting where every person learns to give and receive love…. The family is an intermediate institution between individuals and society and nothing can completely take its place….  The family is a necessary good for peoples, an indispensable foundation for society and a great and lifelong treasure for couples.  It is a unique good for children, who are meant to be the fruit of the love, of the total and generous self-giving of their parents….  The family is also a school which enables men and women to grow to the full measure of their humanity…. O God, who in the Holy Family left us a perfect model of family life lived in faith and obedience to your will, help us to be examples of faith and love for your commandments”.

Let us look in the Scriptures, including our readings for today, to help us know what makes a family holy.  Certainly our first and second readings gives us good advice and helpful tips to become a better family.  Our 1st reading from Sirach tells us: whoever honors his father atones for sins.  He who reveres his mother is heard when he prays.  Sirach goes on to tell us to: “take care of your father when he is old, even if his mind fail, be considerate of him”.  Certainly, we are all commanded to honor our father and mother. And I know that many of you are trying to honor your father and mother the best you can, and you will be blessed for it.  But honoring our mother and father does not necessarily make our family holy, it helps make it a good and loving family, certainly, but not necessarily a holy family. 

And again, in our 2nd reading, St. Paul encourages us to “put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another as the Lord has forgiven you”.  Certainly, those are good attributes that we every family should have, especially to bear with one another and forgive one another as the Lord has forgiven us.  Such a challenge in many families, but living those characteristics can help make a family closer and more loving, but they won’t make a family holy; perhaps rather, heartfelt compassion, gentleness, patience, bearing and forgiving one another are characteristics of a family that is already holy.  But the question remains- what makes a family holy?  To answer that, we need to look at The Holy Family- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

To start understanding what makes a family holy, let us start with Joseph.  Even though Jesus is certainly the focal point of that family- for he alone is God; Joseph is a very important and sometimes underestimated influence upon the family holy.  Joseph, the husband of Mary and foster father of Jesus, was a man of God, he was a holy man.  Joseph loved God more than anything, and so he endured the scrutiny and mockery he received when his new wife was already with child.  And although he could have divorced her quietly, he loved Mary and took and cared for her and her Son as if it was his own.  Joseph took care of his pregnant wife through the long and treacherous journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem.  And though travelling and at night, when the time came to have the child, although no room in the Inn, Joseph found a place for the child to be born.  And then Scriptures tells us that Joseph received in a dream a message from the Angel to go and flee to Egypt.  Although it must have been extremely difficult and dangerous to travel with a new born baby into the unknown country of Egypt, Joseph obeyed the Angel.  A parent today probably would not risk the health and safety of a newborn and mother and travel a long distance just days after birth to an unknown country.  Yet Joseph, who as a holy man, entrusted the good and safety of his family to God.  He immediately obeyed God’s will, even though it contradicted the reasonable logic of keeping his family safe.  Joseph obviously loved his family, but he loved and trusted God first. 

The Scriptures also calls Joseph righteous, which means that he followed the commandments and law of God given through Moses.  Evidence of this is found in our Gospel today, the Presentation of the child Jesus to the Lord.  On the 8th day, the good Jewish parents remembered and fulfilled the covenant by taking the first-born male to be circumcised, that is set apart for the Lord.  Though it is ironic that Mary and Joseph offered to the Lord- His own Son, the fact that Mary and Joseph fulfilled the covenant and Law of Moses testifies that Joseph was a holy man, he did the will of God before all else.

Mary too loved God more than anyone or anything else as well, as obviously she saw herself as the handmaid of the Lord, for she had given her life to the service of God before all else.  Though pregnant herself, Mary went to care for her older cousin Elizabeth who was pregnant and preparing to give birth to John.  Mary too endured the mockery she received when she was with child though not from her husband.  Mary willingly trusted God and her husband that she and the baby would be taken care of on the journey to Bethlehem even though it might mean she would give birth there.  And then after the birth, Mary trusted that Joseph was doing God’s will, and even though against her maternal instincts, she willingly went with her husband on the treacherous and dangerous journey into an unknown country.  And Mary strove to understand the prophecy by Simeon that her son would be a “sign that will be contradicted”, and thus her own heart would be pierced.  Mary reflected in her heart the meaning of her child being the Son of God.   She knew that from the beginning her life and the life of her Son was to do the will of God before all else.

And Jesus, like Mary and Joseph, also put God before all else.  In the Scriptures after today’s Gospel of the Presentation of the Lord in the temple, when Mary and Joseph, thinking Jesus was in the caravan, but went back and found their little child had stayed behind teaching the Jewish leaders, for they had never heard such wisdom.   Jesus said to his parents, “Don’t you know that I must be about my Father’s business”.   Jesus knew his identity, he knew he was at the same time, was the divine and eternal Son of God, but also he was the human son of Mary and Joseph.   And so the child Jesus went back with Mary and Joseph until the Father’s plan for him was to begin.
A friend of mine who is no doubt striving to be a holy dad and raise a holy family put into words what a holy family looks like.  His 12 year old daughter, after hearing that her friend’s parents are getting a divorced, she asked her Dad, “will you and Mommy get divorced too”.  He lovingly responded to his daughter, “mommy loves Jesus more than me, and I am trying to love Jesus more than her, and so God won’t let that happen”.   

To be holy is to know and love God before all else, even before your family.  Do you love God more than all else?  Are you teaching your children that to know and love God is most important?  How you answer those questions will be the degree you and your family become who you are meant to be- a holy family.

BACK TO LIST