Advent Reflections with Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati Part 4: Love

12-22-2024Weekly ReflectionJen Arnold, M.A.

We have reached the final week of Advent, and Christmas is right around the corner. I have directed this year's Advent reflections to the youth and journeyed through each week's themes using the example of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, who St. Pope John Paul II called “A Man of the Beatitudes” and a patron of the youth. The theme for this final week is charity, which is another way of saying Christian love. For this reflection, we’ll examine how Blessed Frassati demonstrated Christian love in his friendships.

Before we get into Frassati's friendships, let's define Christian love. The word “love” is thrown around plenty in today's world. You may say you love your favorite food, your car, watching your favorite T.V. show, or hanging out with your friends. When you talk about the people you love, you use the same word but mean it differently. You don't love your parents the same way you love your friends or your favorite teacher. Then, we have the world telling us that in relationships, love is a feeling that gives you butterflies and makes you feel good, but feelings come and go. So, what is Christian love or charity? Charity is a theological virtue that involves loving God above all things and loving others as yourself because God loves them. It is about putting others before yourself without expecting anything in return and wanting what is best for them, because that’s how Jesus taught us to live. Now, with a better understanding of Christian love, we can see how Blessed Frassati demonstrated it in his friendships.

Blessed Frassati highly valued friendships. He had a saying: “Ubi amici, ibi pes” – “Where there are friends, there is wealth.” He said, “In earthly life, after the love of parents and siblings, one of the most beautiful sorts of affection is that of friendship, and every day I ought to thank God for giving me such good friends, who are for me a precious guide for my whole life.” Pier Giorgio had a lot of friends, most likely because of how he treated people. He was genuine, empathetic, encouraging, and kind.

Most importantly, he was very inclusive. Age, gender, beliefs, or socio-economic status did not matter to Blessed Frassati. He would be your friend no matter who you were. He was known for seeking friendship with a wide variety of people — rich and poor, intellectuals and workers, people from different faiths and walks of life. One reason Pier Giorgio had such a diverse group of friends was because he truly saw the dignity of every person. He knew that every human being was created in God's image and loved by God, so he treated everyone with respect and kindness, no matter who they were or where they came from. His deep faith made him want to share God's love with everyone, not just people who thought or acted like him.

One of the first things that stands out about Pier Giorgio’s friendship is his spirit of hospitality. He often opened his home to friends, sharing what little he had with those in need. Despite coming from a wealthy family, Pier Giorgio was not interested in material wealth. He saw wealth as a means to serve others, and he did so generously. His friends were treated like family, not guests, when they visited him. Pier Giorgio's mother, who often criticized his lack of concern for social status, was known to say, “His friends are not his equals — they are his superiors.”

For Blessed Frassati, friendship was not about receiving, but about giving. His commitment to his friends was rooted in the example of Christ, who washed the feet of his disciples and laid down his life for them. Pier Giorgio often went out of his way to help his friends in both small and big ways. Whether it was offering financial assistance to a friend in need, providing moral support during a difficult time, or even traveling long distances to accompany someone to an appointment, Pier Giorgio's love for his friends was active and sacrificial.

Authentic Christian love is wanting what is best for others, which is ultimately for them to go to heaven. In his letters, Blessed Frassati would often express concern for the spiritual well-being of his friends. One of his close friends, Giuseppe, recalled how Pier Giorgio regularly encouraged him to go to Mass to pray and to stay strong in the faith. He never pushed or condemned; rather, he inspired through his own example. Pier Giorgio’s friendship was always about lifting up his friends, helping them grow in virtue, and encouraging them to live a life of holiness.

I can’t talk about Blessed Frassati’s friendships without mentioning a young woman named Laura Hildago. Laura was a member of a Catholic female university student club and became friends with Frassati. He developed strong feelings for her and eventually confessed to his sister in 1924 that he was in love with her. However, some obstacles stood in the way of him pursuing a relationship with her. First, Pier Giorgio came from a wealthy, influential family, while Laura was an orphan who cared for her younger brother, and his family disapproved of her. Frassati's parents were also on the verge of separation, and he did not want to create more family drama by revealing his feelings for Laura, so he made the difficult decision to sacrifice his love for her, which was extremely painful for him. He never revealed or even hinted at his feelings to her and instead chose to bear this cross silently, viewing it as God's will for his life. After his death, she revealed she knew about his feelings, but also added, “And I am happy, in a certain sense, that he remained silent, sparing me the regret for the grief that I would have caused him.” To cope with his unrequited love, he turned to prayer and asked God to bear the situation with peace; prayed for Laura’s happiness, which demonstrated his selfless love; and viewed her as a good friend who helped keep him on the right path. Remember what I said earlier about how authentic Christian love is about putting others before yourself and wanting what is best for others? Pier Giorgio and Laura are a perfect example of what it means to do exactly that. To love like Jesus is to carry crosses.

There is a book entitled Pier Giorgio Frassati: Letters to His Friends and Family. As the title suggests, it is a collection of letters written by Pier Giorgio to the people he loved. It is a compilation of many letters and doesn't even contain all of them. The letters contain updates on his life and thoughts about current events, but more importantly, he asks his loved ones how they are doing and offers them words of encouragement and spiritual direction. What if someone collected all your social communications with your friends — all your texts, snaps, DMs, etc. — and compiled them into a book? What would those communications say about you and your friendships? Hopefully, that book would reveal Christian love within your friendships. Do you have room to grow in that area? Follow the example of Blessed Frassati and practice sacrificial love for your friends this Christmas season. Also, please review these last four weeks of reflections on Blessed Frassati and see how you might incorporate more of his virtues into your own life. He is an excellent role model to follow and a great voice for the youth in our world still today.

Don’t forget, next summer Pier Giorgio Frassati is scheduled to be canonized by Pope Francis during the Jubilee of the Youth in Rome, which will take place July 28-August 3, 2025!